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Friday, December 3, 2010

Elbow deep in a frozen turkey...I can't make sense of tonight and I was there!

So tomorrow is my birthday. yay. No biggy. Whatever. I decided that in celebration of that and the fact that my egg donor and her Bill (it's his name not like a bill for services rendered!) are coming up from FLA i would make a Thanksgiving part deux! What the AY-EFF was I thinking? So I took the 18 pounder out of the freezer on Monday and placed it in the fridge...here we are on Thursday...and I was elbow-friggin-deep in a halk frozen turkey. AT.NINE.P.M. Trying to pry the frozen gizzards and neck from the rock hard cavity they were entombed in. This is full of the awesome, y'all. I finally manage that task and set about removing the leftover feathers from the carcass. I am weird like that. Now I get it in the pan and back in the fridge it goes...BEFORE all this I was fixing some broken ornaments and tchotchkes...with super glue. Not just super glue, but SUPER GLUE GEL. Cause that is better right? Right. well, naturally it isn't. It takes LONGER to dry. So you have to sit there and hold whatever it is you are trying to glue back together for like ever! NOT full of the awesome. So naturally I get my finger glued to the chest of the wooden smoker man. (it's German and cute.) He now has a permanent fingerprint there since a few layers of my skin came off when i was trying to detach him. Talking to myself...no, No, NO, NONONONONO...DAMN.IT! In the process of detaching the wooden man I managed to get glue on a few other fingers (read: ALL of them). I also managed to glue the tips of a few fingers to their fingernails. Oh, and I got super glue GEL in my hair. AND I was dead sober this whole time. Maybe I should NOT have been.

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