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Do NOT read any farther if you have any idea, whatsoever, of getting offended.
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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

You know I'm about to have my monthly visitor when...

I want to cry...and I mean ALL.THE.TIME. Over stupid shit. Like those dumb Debeer's Diamond commercials. Or when that little covered wagon drives into the cupboard cause the dog is chasing it...damn do!
I want to eat stupid things. Like hot dogs.And Salty chips, cause ya know the water retention isn't quite bad enough. And Tasty Cake Jelly Krimpets. OH.MY.GOD. And butter with brown sugar mixed together...no lie. Think cookie dough before the flour and eggs and shit go in! And chili cheese Coney Dogs. And GIANT COKES...I don't drink soda anymore for the record...like for a few years now. And Greasy, juicy hamburgers.And Hot, Salty, Balls...those are a real thing y'all. And they are probably not what you think. Maui's Doghouse in Wildwood sells them. ..DAMN IT! Now I am gonna start crying!
I get mean. REALLY mean. Scott calls it edgy cause he's not stupid enough to tell me that I am being a bitch. Good man. I yell over stupid things, "WHO IN THE FUCK FOLDED THESE TOWELS? HELEN KELLER?" I KNOW!!! I know...I'm ashamed of myself right now...I only yelled that once and it was at the hubby. He's been properly trained since then.
I want to sleep. ALL DAY. Which totally puts a damper on stuff, like eating the salty chips. It also makes me not want to get on the treadmill. Which I did once today already, but am thinking a glass of wine is in order instead. Big Girl Glass Of Wine. Like Jules'.
~namaste~
Jen

1 comment:

  1. I suggest this: fuck the glass, grab the bottle. Go sit on the treadmill and drink it straight out of the bottle until you pass out. That way, at least you've numbed the crazy, crying bitch trying to claw herself out of you & then, you can also say that you spent the entire day on the treadmill! See! Everybody wins!

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