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Thursday, September 16, 2010

I am convinced that the maker of anything neoprene is some sort of sick bastard.

Wait...does that make me sick cause I have at least 2 things made of the stuff? For the record there are two words that should NEVER go together...NEOPRENE and SHORTS. Or pants, whatever! On a side note... I own a pair so I feel I can be the expert here. Not only are the a complete pain in the ass to get on, BUT (you'll get the play on words in a second) they also cause things to sweat that have ZERO business being that sweaty! Now, here comes the fun part. And by fun, I mean fun , like, being ripped apart by rabid squirrels fun. After you get nice and sweaty, they itch. I cannot fully describe it. It's an itch akin to having fire ants crawling and biting the previously squirrel ravaged skin. Not that I really know what that feels like and am totally exaggerating here, but you get the picture. Now that you are itching so terribly...HOW. IN. THE. HELL. DO. I. GET. THE. DAMN. THINGS. OFF?No lie...I am typing this sitting in a pair of neoprene sweaty pants literally swimming in my own funk because I am afraid to take them off! I really believe that my first few layers of skin will go with them. Also, to increase the nasty factor...I have on a NEOPRENE BELT. No lie. Guess there's more than two words that should NEVER go together.

1 comment:

  1. LMFAO! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Didn't think I'd smile today, let alone laugh. Will love you forever for helping me get there.