Sunday, September 12, 2010
Of what exactly? I have started and stopped so many diets, exercise routines, life altering things that I have seriously lost count. I am in a constant battle of wills with myself and most of those around me. Some days I just give up because I am too tired to fight anymore. I am in noway, nor have I ever claimed to be, perfect. NOT EVEN CLOSE! I get mad at my kids and husband. I yell. I cuss. I occasionally throw things. Not pretty, but hey, it's me. I have a terrible temper when provoked. And some days it's too easy to provoke me! Especially here, now. I feel like I am suffocating. Growing stagnant. YUCK! I am not the fun, strong chick I was mere months ago. Where in the HELL did she go? I've made my mistakes. But I will not stand for people criticizing me and my right to tell it how I see it. So, yeah, that got my ass in some serious hot water. But, you know what? TOUGH NOOGIES! There are people getting pais MILLIONS to write their opinions and blab about it on t.v. Why am I different? Why am I not allowed to say what I feel? I call shenanigans! I took a HUGE step recently and severed ties with people I have known for years. They were either too toxic or comlpetely absent yet expected me to be always available Jen. OUT! OUT! DAMN SPOT! I thought it would hurt more than it did. Guess that proves I was right in doing it. So now I try to surround myself with people that know me and love me anyway. The rest are just flotsam, following in my wake.