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Do NOT read any farther if you have any idea, whatsoever, of getting offended.
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Monday, September 27, 2010

Checking myself in to the Betty Crocker clinic...

I have a problem...a cake problem. Although from my side...I can quit anytime I want to! I <3 cake...like a fat kid does. Oh, wait...SHIT! That's me too! DAMN.IT. Sometimes I just need it. CAKE. My sweet, flaky, icinged (yes, that is a word as a matter of fact! OK... I made it up) WHORE! I LOVE YOU! I HATE YOU! I NEED YOU TO MAKE ME WHOLE!!!! I had a small sliver of cake at a birthday party a few days ago and up until then I had done good. Cold Cupcake. Not a crumb in weeks. And this one was made with beets so I am not entirely sure it counts as cake. But tonight...my dealer, aka SCOTT, disappeared and came back with...DUN DUN DUNNNNN.... a CHOCOLATE JUNIOR! The MECCA of Tasty Cake goodness! SONOFABITCH! He says, after I stupidly read the calorie load, " so, only eat half. You do know you can do that right?" Me- "UNHUH....." (as I am unwrapping it) Him-" You gonna save some for tomorrow?" Me- "What?" It's already gone. SHIT. Now I have guilt. Chocolate iced guilt to be sure, but guilt all the same. I am going to have to run like, THE UNITED STATES, to get rid of that! DAMN.IT.
~namaste~
Jen

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